Life

For real Deborah?

Life sure is funny sometimes. It's has a funny way of being you back to you when you think you know yourself but really have no ideal who you have become. I learned some things on this trip. 

I can't even begin to put them in words. Everytime I have to leave her I feel abandon and almost panic. An overwhelming sense of sadness comes over me. I never notice that before. I was almost embarrass to see it in myself. Did I do this in my pass relationships? I'm sorry if I did. Wow, I just wanted to push her away. What the heck Debbie she has to go home, get a whole of yourself. Slap slap. Eyes wide open looking at me. I'm glad to be able to see it and own my fears. This woman has amazed me in so many ways. I have and continue to learn about myself through loving her. 

I thought I would take a moment to write this out before my coward came forward and allow me to pretend like I am perfect in my relationship with the woman I love. Let me say, baby I love you and I don't know how you do it but you still love me in spite of me and my humanness. Thank you for that.

Anyway the weekend is not done yet. I still have time to enjoy the few moments I have left with her.

This is my life so I guess I will live it.

See ya soon

Deborah.